What is sexy?

Victoria’s Secret just announced their “What Is Sexy in 2013” list.

Karlie Kloss reveals Beyonce as third time winner of the Sexiest Songstress category.

Among categories such as “sexiest lips” (Kerry Washington) “sexiest legs” (Blake Lively) and “sexiest hair” (Amanda Seyfried),¬†there were also nods to “sexiest mom” (Giuliana Rancic) and “sexiest sense of humor” (Jennifer Lawrence.)

I agree with most of the winners here. I mean, who would deny Rhianna’s smokin’ bikini bod? (To which she was nominated “most sexy”) or Shakira’s rockin’ post-baby curves? I only WISH I looked like that. (One Zumba class at a time, I keep telling myself.)

However…I think I would have added a few more categories.

Such as:

Sexiest Minivan

Every minivan is NOT created equal. For example: how many carseats, and exactly how much food is crusted on each one? Does the van have runway lights? Sleek, automatic doors? How many “character dents” per side? The Toyota Sienna tried bringing sexy back with it’s new “swagger wagon” a few years back. And I must say, I think our Chysler Town and Country ride has definitely upped my hotness factor a few notches…especially if I’m wearing my borrowed/stolen 14-year-old nieces’s zebra-print glasses while driving.

Sexiest Food-stained Shirt:

In her book “The Honest Life,” actress Jessica Alba shared tricks for covering up anything from syrup to spit-up on a mommy’s blouse: scarves. Just tie one on, and that regurgitated lunch from your baby’s belly is well-hidden. Even the odor is masked!

Speaking of odor…how about Sexiest Smell?

I’ve heard that every person has their own “scent.” This makes sense. Like how dogs and babies can recognize you from a mile away.¬†Right now, I’m sporting a mix between Sweet Sweat and Barf de Toilette. VERY sexy.

All jokes aside, some of the “sexiest” or most admired women I know may or may not have the best arms, abs or backsides (then again, I do have some pretty gorgeous girlfriends!)

The women I most admire are incredibly selfless, fiercely loyal and stunningly strong. They’ve battled breast cancer, competed in Ironman races and delivered close to 600 babies as midwives. They are elementary school teachers, motivational speakers, college students and nannies. They are tough. They are dedicated. They inspire me by just living their quiet, stalwart, beautiful lives.

In my opinion, there’s nothing sexier.

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